Thursday, December 30, 2010

Resolutions

I'm still here...just resting a lot.
But I've made some vintage assemblage jewelry for the Etsy shop, that I'm pretty pleased with:



I am giving a lot of thought to the idea of having a New Year's "word"...it seems to be the thing to do these days. I imagine it means having kind of a "power word" for the new year...or a focus word...
The whole New Year's resolution thing just seems to set me up for disappointment in myself. Last year I only had one resolution: Wear more necklaces.Yes, that's it! And you know, not only did I end up wearing more necklaces than I ever have, I made and sold a lot of necklaces too!
So maybe there is something to the whole resolution thing. But maybe we should be more gentle and playful with what we resolve to do. How about some easy things like pick more flowers or watch more old movies? Last year was the first year that I didn't say to myself, "This year, I resolve to loose 30 pounds." "Work out 4 days a week." "Walk for an hour every day."
,,,and well, it was so much more FUN this past year. There was no pressure. Nothing in my resolution to feel like a failure for. Nothing to fill me with dread and self doubt.
I encourage you to be kind to yourself. Make one or two goals/resolutions, but be sure to add in some fun and humor and gentleness.
I think this year I will resolve to write more....postcards, letters, journaling and such. There is something about the actual written word that means so much more than a typed one. Almost as if the essence of the writer is captured in the ink and paper. I like that.
This year, I'm thinking of words like "travel", "true", "mend", "heal", and "simplify"...can I have more than one word? Who made up the one word rule anyway?

Do you have ideas for kinder, gentler resolutions? I really would love to hear them.

Friday, December 17, 2010

What Does Your Heart Say?

Tonight I am thinking about the song of my life.....the song of my heart.......
with the sound of the cats romping about,
and the sound of my teenagers' laughter in the next room,
and the sound of my favorite music by Patty Griffin and Michael Hoppe on the player;
the sparkle of the snow outside when the light dances from the window,
and the taste of a warm cup of Chai tea...
the symphony of breathing in and breathing out, coming from the next room as my little son and husband sleep deeply;
carried by dreams...the secrets of the night...
as I type here tonight at the desk next to my jewelry table, I am surrounded by paintings and artwork by the most incredible people:
 MarinaCathi, Michael, my beloved Ken, Carissa, Susan, my mama, Randal and my sister Kelly Rae who's quiet voice asks me each day in the sweet  words of my favorite print: "What does your heart say?"
And I say back to it that my heart says to love. Love with everything I've got...because love is really all there is. Love is the only thing I truly own, and it is meant to give away.
In this space I find myself surrounded with the evidence of it....letters and cards from dear and loyal customers and friends...precious offerings of Autumn leaves and special gifts from my sweet husband...
Yes, my heart says to love with wildest abandon. Hope for all things. Cherish family. Make amends. Laugh loud. Embrace each season of the earth, and each season of my life...



“Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.” H. D. Thoreau


Tonight I am thinking of you out there...and I am sending you love and light tonight. I thank you for being here and sharing your precious time with me.  For sharing this space.  For reading my words. For taking the time to leave sweet and thoughtful comments....I sound sappy, I know, but life has taken on such a different meaning for me since I've been sick so often.  Each day of wellness becomes this jubilant gift...a celebration...a triumph.

(And my darling Ken, my K.W., I know you are reading this too, and I want you to know how precious and rare you are....how precious and how rare. I love you so...)

Goodnight dear ones...


my feeble attempt at modeling one of Marina's necklaces
 wearing my favorite vintage sweater. Is my hair really that red?! oops.
good thing my husband is color blind.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

It's 2 a.m. and I'm Thinking About You

Precious baby boy True...Right now I'm thinking about your mama, my sister, and how your smile looks so much like hers. I'm thinking about your eyes and how they shine and I wonder if they will be the prettiest green; like hers. I'm thinking about how your tiny breath would feel on my neck as I rock you to sleep and sing to you the song of pretty horses...the same one I sang to her in the night. Night after night to soothe her in the darkness.
I'm thinking about how the tiny bubbles in your bottle as you drink must sound almost the same as hers did, while she lay next to me more than 30 years ago...it seems like it was just yesterday. (it's a dumb old cliche, I know, but I don't know how else to say it.)
I hold a lot of your mama's memories, you know, and someday I hope to hold some of yours too....and I promise I'll keep them safe, like hers. And I'll bring them out later when you have a birthday or need reminding or maybe you need to remember where you came from if you get lost along the way. So many times, your mama has found me when I was lost along the way. She is such a remarkable person and you; well you are a very very lucky boy.
I think of you every day and I am so grateful to see your smile, even if it is just a photograph. When I see your little face on the screen my breath catches in my throat. I hold you  in my heart and in my thoughts always. Since you've been born, life seems lighter somehow. Greener. The hard things seem a lot less important.
Sweet child, you are a lantern in the darkness. You are hope. You are healing.
You are True.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

What I Was Up to Before I was Rudely Interrupted

I'm out of bed this afternoon, just for a bit though to say hello. 
I had grand plans this past week. Oh yes, I had plans. But my body? Well it had other plans....
I've been very sick these past several days. Sicker that I ever thought possible. Complete with ER visit and scary low blood pressure that almost got me admitted.
I am just now feeling a little better, and aside from being happy about the obvious, spending time with my family;
My thoughts turn to my passion, my jewelry making...
My grand plans are laid to waste, I think to myself while looking wistfully at the small pile of earrings and bracelets I made to put in the shop.....before it came along. I wonder to myself what I am supposed to take from all of this. I thought I was grateful to be well before. I thought that the worst was behind me and I wanted to jump back and kiss myself because I felt so good to feel good again. But no. Before was just a kiddie ride. Just being able to get out of bed and stay upright for as long as I've taken to write these words means I am finally on the mend. And I am ever ever so grateful. The curtains are flung open to reveal a beautiful winter wonderland that wasn't there before. The sounds of life all around me are a sweet symphony...


I've got new things coming to the shop very soon. I must say, I love the new cuff bracelets the most. They give me a great opportunity to use some larger buckle pieces from my collection that I can't use for necklaces.


I'd like to thank all of you who have sent well wishes, notes of hope and love to me. It means so much.


antique buckle cuff bracelet
depression glass dangle earrings

Art Nouveau flowers with Haskell filigree
These things and more will be coming to the Etsy shop very soon. I am having a sale through Christmas of a total of 20% off of everything in the shop if you use the discount code "WONDERLAND" at checkout.
(now, back to bed...)

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Wishbone Chandelier


I bought this pin this morning.
Wanted to let you know.
It is a wishbone pin, Dad.
I bought  it for myself
because today is your birthday.
Bet you thought I didn't remember.

For so many years
I always meant to call,
but I never knew what to say.

I was 8 and
my first memory of you was how you hung
wishbones on your
chandelier to dry.
And you took one down
and we each held the delicate bone
(always pulling in opposite directions)
and made a secret wish together.
I remember I got the larger piece,
so my wish was supposed to come true.
But it just never did.
And now you are gone from me
forever.
You left without saying
a
single
word.
Left me with nothing.
but this dead birthday phone call

and this damn
wishbone chandelier.