Showing posts with label In the Studio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label In the Studio. Show all posts

Friday, January 01, 2021

The High School Drop Out and My Third Grade Self, A Letter to Abbie Zysk

 Dear Abbie,

    In the third grade, I was supposed to know my times tables by heart. I didn’t. My step father would abruptly ask me times table questions at dinner. I hated it. I grew to have terrible anxiety when it was time to eat. I thought to myself as I got seated, what’s six times seven? Eight times nine? All the while, my stomach in knots. Would I get spanked for not knowing? I loved it so much more when he was away, and it was just my mother and my baby sister and I at the table. There were still mashed potatoes, but no anxiety over math. No beady eyes through tinted glasses, staring at me across the table, stoic with fork in hand. Waiting for an answer.

  So, math was never my thing. I only associated it with anxiety and feelings of not enoughness. I attempted Algebra II twice in high school and failed both times. I believed I was not a “math person”. I began at Southwestern College when I was pregnant with my fifth child, Jeremy, who is now 16. Again, I took Algebra II, and finally passed. My teacher, Mr. Leonard, was kind and compassionate, much like you Abbie. He loved us. He loved his work. I passed Algebra II after taking the exam in his office, in tears, 8 months pregnant. Hormones raging. Anxiety at its peak. He calmed me. I passed and I was so proud of it.

    After fifty-something credits geared toward graphic design, I left the college to peruse my dreams of “becoming” something. And I did.With exhaustive work, I ended up with a three year contract and jewelry line with a major gift company. Creating and caring for my children became my life for a decade.Then I ran a little shop in town for several years, immersing myself in creating displays, window dressing, ordering, hobknobbing with customers, and making people laugh. I even ran the register with minimal screw ups. Depending on who you talk to. Insert laughing Emoji here. It would be 15 years before I took another math class, all the time, the image of myself not being a “math person” firmly embedded inside of me. Feeling not smart enoughness. My third grade self still in there, my dropout self still in there, telling me I was just stupid.

    When the corona virus hit and I left the beloved little shop, the between spaces allowed me to breathe and reflect on the next phase of my life. I had been a successful artist and the shop had become a thriving business, but the little light, the desire to do something more...something more meaningful, still shone inside of me. I decided to return to school. And that, Abbie, is how I met you.

    In my usual hasty fashion, I took whatever math class fit into the equation of finishing as soon as possible. How hard could statistics be? Didn’t you just plug things into a program and write down what you got? Au contraire. I would tell people that Stats class was kicking my ass. I wasn’t kidding. I looked around the class...I was old enough to be everyone’s mother, even yours Abbie. My own mother though I was crazy for going back. She said I didn’t have the mind for it anymore. So me and the stupid third grader and the drop out inside of me took those words. We drank them up like freshly cut tulip stems, thirsty for water. Not the words from my husband, who said that I can do anything I put my mind to, or the words of my kids who said, “you got this mom”.

    I remember the first few days of class so clearly. Within the first ten minutes, I though for sure I had gotten myself in too deep. For me, it was very much like sitting through two hours of a foreign language class with no clue how to say a single word. And I quickly found that I could not round decimals. That skill got lost somewhere. I would sit at my desk, with my third grade self, and the college drop out inside of me, staring at the numbers on the page with complete dismay. Seeds of doubt became weeds of despair. It was getting too crowded in there Abbie. I taught myself to round decimals, with your guidance. I mastered it. I worked and worked and worked, for hours and hours, at it. Balled up paper all around me. Breaking the leads out of my pencils, erasing holes in paper, until I got it.

    I learned the symbols. With your kind and tireless instruction, I learned. You are the kind of teacher the world needs. Passionate about the subject matter. Eager to help students in any way possible. People never forget their teachers. Especially the good ones. You are one of those.

    On final exam day, I was so nervous. My hands shook. That isn’t like me. I’ve gotten good at talking myself down from ledges over the past 51 years. But not that one. Not that. The high school drop out and the dumb third grader, and my mother’s voice all inside of me....that got the best of me. I took a deep breath and opened the test. I had three hours. Oh shit. I had a time limit?  Oh that’s right. We had a time limit. I must have blocked that out. That sent me over the edge. All the loud voices of “I can’t” became louder and crowded out the others.

    Abbie, you told me that I could do this. I clung to your voice, through unruly tears that I couldn’t stop. It wasn’t just about the test. It was about all of my failures. Failures as a mother. Failures as a person. Failures in life choices, husbands, moves, homes, things I said, clothing, weight....it all cascaded in that moment. It sounds ridiculous. I know. Shouldn’t I have worked all that shit out in therapy? All I did was look at the first problem. Everything I learned, everything I beat into my brain, flew out of the window the moment that I knew I didn’t know the answer to the first problem.

    But you were there. You took the time to assure me, even during the test, that I knew it. It was in there. The dumb third grader, who dreaded report card day, could do this. The pregnant college drop out could do this. The bad choice maker could do this. The 51 year old woman with the foggy brain could do this.

And I did.

Thanks to you.

I will never forget you. Ever. To me, you are a super hero. An angel. A light in the darkness.

    The third grader, the drop out and the middle aged artist in me made this for you. A tiny token of appreciation. I just want to leave this letter here for you, for always. My teacher. So you know how you made a difference in my life that was more than just teaching me about medians and decimals. You helped me to find within me, something I thought I had lost. Courage. Tenacity. A love for the sound of pencil on paper.


assemblage art, stitch art, sacred cake, stitch art, hand stitched art








Wednesday, September 04, 2019

Embrace Eco-Chic: Sacred Cake's Green Goddess Statement Necklaces




vintage peridot rhinestone statement necklace 
There is something about the color green that is immediately soothing. In these statement necklaces and earrings that I create, it evokes in me a feeling of quiet woodlands, ferns and maple trees dancing in dappled light, contemplation and stillness. Things that, as of late, I seem to require more and more to survive life at the speed of light. I became 50 this year, and the days seem to disintegrate into darkness faster and faster. I need  calm. I need green. Lots of green.
    There is something magical in these pieces. When the vintage green glass stones emerge from the soupy concoction I use to remove their old foil backs, and they are rinsed and dried and lying on the counter in the sunlight...like treasures that delight my senses in some ancient way. Something covetous. Something deep in me sighing and in love with the way the light plays on the transparent glass.

You can find my work on ETSY.
 

Light Green Statement Necklace




Emerald earrings 

Pale green, olive statement  necklaces









Sunday, January 04, 2015

Bringing the Outside In, and UP

     Ever since I can remember, I have loved the outdoors. As a girl, I spent hours playing in the woods, and swimming in Lake Santa Fe. As a teen, I would take long walks in the country to study wildflowers and animal tracks. It was there that I found my solace.
     Whenever I feel out of sorts and out of touch, a quick drive to the local woodland park is so incredibly restorative. Just fifteen minutes with the sound of the brook in my ears and surrounding trees can carry me a long time.
     Since most of my day is spent upstairs in my attic-shaped studio/bedroom, I like to be surrounded by the things that I love the most...favorite artwork, my beloved cat Lucy, good music, white linens, and as much plant life as possible!

     The upstairs room is quite large, but it is shaped in such a way that I have only one full sized window, so I have utilized every spare inch of it with favorite woodland inspired pottery, plants, and the overflow of my antique cigar box collection.
     My husband gave me gifts this past Christmas of a coveted double boxwood topiary and a sweet old shabby stepladder among other treasures…perfect additions to my ever crowding shabby pink plant table.

AH!More of what my heart desires; bringing the outside, in.
I added the ladder next to the old stool that holds a vintage watering can full of an unknown(to me) plant that blooms prolifically with beautiful purple flowers through fall and winter, then goes dormant in Spring and summer…odd, but true! It likes that window, and is accompanied by Baby’s Tears, fragrant English Lavender, delicate Rabbit’s Foot Fern and a Weeping Somethingorother. I have, by no means, a green thumb! There have been casualties over the years, but for the most part, I do fairly well for someone who doesn’t know much about plants!
I know what is manageable for me and I just keep it very simple.
I hope somehow this has inspired you, especially if you work from home and need a little lushness in your space.
If you cannot go out, just go UP!


Woodland Pottery by Leaves of Clay

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Lovely Ethereal Abstract Landscapes

I just wanted to share with you some of my favorite things lately. Comfort food for my spirit while the snow piles up outside! I want to begin with Tracey. My latest obsession, the ethereal, heavenly paintings of Tracey Nicholas on Etsy.
Her ethereal abstract landscapes surround me in my second story studio/bedroom...this attic room from which i write has one larger window and little oddly placed windows that make it difficult to see outside, and her paintings make a soft landing spot for my eyes during the hours I spend up here working. The last one I bought so moved me me with the title of it. It is called "All I Know"...a lovely mix of soft pink, white and even a touch of orange...
My studio/bedroom has become a haven for me...a place to dream, have tea with friends...a place to write and create. I am building a lovely nest in soft hues of pink and white and aqua blue. It is a bit untidy at the moment, but what real life is truly as tidy as a perfect photograph? That is what paintings like Tracey's are for...

Thursday, June 20, 2013

The Drops of Hope Project


drops of hope earrings

I have often wondered, in my years here in this community, how I can give back...aside from helping the wayward kids that have wondered through our doors over the past Nine years here. There have been many that KW and I have cooked for, sheltered and briefly fostered to our best ability, while navigating turbulent teen years of our own children. The house is more settled now, and I have some time to spend on a small project here and there. I try to know my own limits as a person, so I don't take on too much at once and beat myself up for not "making it happen".
My current project is one close to my heart. I have even gotten help of my youngest, who punches cards for me. I think it is very important for children today to be involved in giving back. I think it helps to keep them more aware of the community in which they live, and it shows them the importance of working together.

our little guy punching cards
This project, I call "Drops of Hope". 
The earrings I make are simple. Made with vintage bead caps, faceted glass and non-reactive brass earwires and they come in pretty colors. At the end of each week, I use the money I make to purchase baby food for the local food pantry. So far, I have sold several pair and was able to donate two whole flats of large jars of babyfood to the local pantry, "People Helping People."

I am also hosting a free earring making class at the local library in August, and have plans to speak with the local Lions Club about hosting a walk-in workshop  for local teens to learn how to make jewelry of their own.  I'll keep you posted!

“Community is a sign that love is possible in a materialistic world where people so often either ignore or fight each other. It is a sign that we don't need a lot of money to be happy--in fact, the opposite.” ― Jean Vanier



Monday, September 03, 2012

Measuring Up

self portrait: late nights at Sacred Cake
 I want so much to measure up...be that amazing blog writer, that spectacular jewelry designer, the amazing mother, the saintly peace keeper.. the word DYNAMIC always comes to mind...and I always seem to fall so short of what I want so much to be.
It is humbling. I reach, reach, reeeeaach...and pull back only a fistful of air...but it is in this fist full of air that I remember that the air is a gift.

A reminder to breathe deeply and remember God's grace...
I am limited. I am human. My body limits my life and my wants and it is frustrating.
I find myself scrambling to matter before I leave this world...to be like the poet's or artists' name that everyone remembers...
but the truth is that if only one of you remembers my kindness...if my children remember the laughter and the generosity long after I've gone, then I have mattered more than the poet that everyone knows; more than the song that everyone can sing. It is in the little things that Grace resides...that memory serves...
The fist full of air is a gift in itself that I must not forget. It means that I have the gift of another day to spread the word about God's grace, in the smallest ways that matter most...the only word that really needs to live on in the hearts and minds of mankind, Grace. Gods promise of eternal life, after this world is not just about being in his presence after we die, but in living our lives to the best of our ability to show to others, the grace he has given us...in words and actions and in forgiveness and in the little kindnesses. That is the way we live on. That is the way we matter. That is the way we become famous. That is the way we are dynamic and amazing.
That is the way we become eternal.

Love and Light to you all today,
Jennifer
IN other news, I have drawn the winners of the Raffle for Jenny Wenworth's Trip to Paint with Misty Mawn! and here they are~
GLENDA, YOU are the winner of the Assemblage Bee Necklace!
SUSAN, YOU are the winner of the Pink Collet!
JOAN, YOU are the winner of the Yellow Collet!
Earring Winners are:
Meghan
Joyce
Sherry
Lisa
Jane
&
Colleen!

THANK YOU ALL!

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Georgian Jeweled Collet with Contemporary Style, Inspired by Anna Wintour

I didn't know anything about Anna Wintour until several months ago, when a dear customer requested a necklace much like one that she wore. This was one of the first sets of the Georgian Collet/ Anna Wintour inspired necklaces I ever created, in deep plum purple and citrine.



From what I've learned Anna Wintour is the Head of Vogue Magazine, and has a lovely collection of antique Georgian Collet and Edwardian jeweled necklaces that are much coveted by fashioistas and collectors all over the world.
I had no idea such necklaces even existed until I "googled" her name (after she was mentioned to me) and saw her in many different photographs, always wearing sometimes two or three of these jeweled gorgeous Georgian necklaces at a time. I set out to create the same look, without the same price tag...actual antique Georgian necklaces are upwards of 2,000.00.
I began receiving requests for other colors like peridot and aqua and pale yellow...in different shapes. The most popular being the large octagon shape and the medium sized oval. They look smashing when worn together, and the color combinations I've seen from the requests by my Etsy customers have been amazing. I learn a lot from them!
peridot green vintage jewel collet style necklace
aquamarine, georgian necklace, anna wintour, sacred cake
aquamarine vintage jewels with antiqued brass settings
pale yellow, citrine, georgian, vintage, necklace, statement necklace
Pale Spring Yellow and Citrine
sapphire, georgian, necklace, anna wintour, sacred cake, jennifer valentine
Vintage Sapphire colored Rhinestones and Silver plated settings


So with a little bit of research, and a little bit of time. I've found out about the origins and prices of some of the real Georgian Collet necklaces, worn by real queens in real fairy tales...with prices that only queens could afford!

     I have really loved  creating these lately...it is a lot like playing dress up, no? My husband once told me, when I felt doubtful that jewelry was an "important" thing to create, that wearing jewelry is all about having FUN. I never thought of it that way really. Before I began making these sparkling jewel necklaces, jewelry was a bit more of a serious endeavor for me I guess...heavy with meaning and the resurrection of the old. I rather like his interpretation...I mean, the fun-ness of it...draping vintage jewels around your neck to add a little sparkle...a little fun going into getting dressed. For myself, I have chosen a lovely vintage pale pink called Rosaline (coming very soon to my ESTY shop.) I still love making the assemblage necklaces and earrings I am "known" for, and these vintage "bling" necklaces look quite lovely mixed with other typed of necklaces...particularly a longer chain style or even layers of pearls.
simple pale yellow and rosaline jewel necklace

pale yellow, citrine and grape

clear vintage rhinestones with silver settings

     I've been having lots of fun with color lately! These particular collet style necklaces are created to be worn just around the base of your neck, about 16-18". I make them 16" with a 2" extender. I am a larger gal, so a 17" looks just right for me. I am working on designs that can be worn much longer, soon to come! Do you have favorite color combinations you'd like to share? Do tell!

     In other news, I was quite surprised to see one of my assemblage necklaces published in the current issue of Jewelry Affaire Magazine. I feel so fortunate to be involved with such an amazing and creative publication. It is a wonderful magazine full of very talented jewelry artists and I am so honored to be included there. If you'd like a preview, you can find it here~

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend. Thank you for your visit today!
Many Blessings to You and to Yours,
Jennifer Valentine of Sacred Cake
 

If you'd like to see more of these necklaces, click photo just above to be taken to my shop!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Antique Buttons Jewelry by Sacred Cake, and a Magical Happenstance Meeting to Share

Victorian mourning button bracelet by Sacred Cake

For years I've admired them. Lusted after their perfect antique patina, their intricate elegance...their antique button mystique. I've literally sat for hours sifting through sale boxes of buttons perfectly sewn to little white cards...and when a bit more money permitted, asked the sales person to open up the case...aaahhhh the glorious coveted Victorian button case, sprinkled with Art Nouveau button offerings of carved mother of pearl and Bakelite...in colors I've never seen and  beautiful Victorian Picture buttons like tiny scenes from an even tinier world.

antique floral buttons earrings for the Etsy Shop

For years, I wondered about the owner of the booth and how she amassed such an extraordinary collection. Now she was someone I wanted to meet! It just so happened that Nancy (her name) was there during a recent visit, restocking buttons as I came around the corner on the way to leave. I greeted her like a long lost friend. "It's YOU." "I can't believe you're HERE." I introduced myself and shook her delicate hand. (Nancy is in her 80's.) Well, to make a long story a little shorter, I practically invited myself to her house...yes, i did! I proclaimed that I was not a serial killer, that I wrote things for magazines and did her children want my number so they could check me out first?

antique cut pewter button with Water Lily
some of my exquisite floral Victorian antique buttons

I called her the next day and we made a date. I could hardly wait to talk with her more. The older generation has so much to talk about...so many stories to tell...and I love to listen. I wondered to myself on the hour long drive to her home if I'd be fortunate enough to make it to 80. Would I still be "hip"? Would I be set in my ways...?  Be the crazy cat lover lady that already lurks inside of me?
     Nancy is lovely with bright blue eyes and straw colored, wavy hair. We sat together for hours and talked of buttons and life and children, and more about buttons. We commented excitedly on the superbly detailed buttons I brought for her to see...I found it so amazing that out of the thousands of buttons Nancy has, she brought her favorites out to me in a small, rectangular glass topped box! That was it. Just one little box. I was amazed that she could limit herself to just that one...well, that one, and thousands more behind glass at the antique mall in Coloma, Michigan! (but those are all for sale)

antique black glass button bracelet by Sacred Cake

I brought a few pieces of button jewelry for her to see and we had tea and the best zucchini bread ever known. I bid farewell before the darkness fell. And it was just beginning to snow. Years ago, I would have just seen her there and politely told her that I liked her buttons and left it at that...I've learned to be more outgoing, to try to connect more with the world when I'm out in it, because my work is so solitary... and I have been dearly rewarded for it. It is funny that I've finally found my life's work, which I so dearly love, and it is such a quiet and solitary thing. I was always "the loud kid"...the one who always got in trouble for "talking to her neighbor in class."  It has become such a remarkable gift, this "talking to my neighbor." I find it so easy to relate to people...to make them feel at ease.
I hope you feel that way when you come here to visit. I really enjoy sharing  with you here and I am so grateful for your presence.
more of my Victorian button stash
Nancy has convinced me that I need to put some of my buttons on cards to show them off...to not ever use them for jewelry, and so I shall when time permits. Until then, they'll live in an old mason jar on my table, where I pour them into my hands and choose just the right ones for bracelets and necklaces and earrings like these...


antique glass button bracelet by Sacred Cake

vintage button and buckle necklace by Sacred Cake (me)
The song of my heart, made tangible.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

New One of a Kind Jewelry and a Coupon Code Just for You

I've been trying out some new ways to photograph my work...and I really like it. it seems to be more me. To celebrate the new "look", I'm offering a discount code for 15% off all items: MAYFLOWERS
Just click the images to be taken to the shop to see what else is new!
Blessings and Light,
Jennifer

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My Kingdom for a Really Old Dummy

I've been at it again. Trying to capture assemblage necklaces in a realistic neck-like way on an old coat hanger...well, at least I've finally figured out that I can use old hat pins to pin the necklace on to the hanger to give it a more neck-like appearance, but then I'm thinkin' it might just look like a pinned up lab specimen...? I have been searching for the right mannequin for the looooongest time, but to no avail. I've found plenty that I love, but they are all just way out of my price range, but a girl can dream can't she? These are the stuff of my dreams these days. Kinda funny huh? I keep hoping that one day, the perfect one will appear to me, accompanied by the perfect price tag.
This one offered by FrenchbyDesign is one thing I dream of...oh yeah.....it's quite perfect. And if the number on it is the actual size, then the size is right too.


Oh, but then there's this one offered at TopsyDesign...This is the stuff of my dearest dreams people...I so have plans for this gal. In my dreams I festoon her with tiny lights and bits of old tattered lace and Victorian slips. She would display my necklaces so perfectly in the corner of the room by the southern-ish window where the light is perfect and she is always waiting. No more begging, bargaining with and urging my busy teen-age daughters to change their top and sit still while they model my assemblage necklaces! Now I just need about a grand and she can be mine forever. I love the stand and the casters and everything. Pretty nifty eh?
Ah well. We all need something to reach for right? Something to hope for. Sometimes I wonder if I would be as happy if I could afford everything my heart desired...though I really don't desire many material things much anymore. I'm pretty happy with my stacks of old suitcases and the occasional antique ironstone indulgence. I'm really very fortunate in that the things I adore are usually found in dumpsters or are so shabby no one else wants them so I get them for a dollar.
Anyway, this is what I've been doing these days for a pseudo mannequin. Pins and an old hanger.Today was cloudy more than not, so not a good day for photographing things on my favorite white door on my favorite old hanger pretty close to my favorite southern-ish facing window. But not quite close enough or light enough to really get a very high quality shot. (I don't think it helps that I don't use a tripod, though. Better think about that one too.)
(assemblage locket necklace taken on the door after lots of sharpening and tweaking and lightening. still not a very good shot and not good enough for listing in the shop yet.)
(vintage assemblage red glass earrings taken by southern-ish window today when the clouds broke away from the sun. These are ready to list.)

(vintage assemblage crystal earrings photo taken by the same southern-ish facing window today. These are ready to list too.)
I spent some time taking a bunch of really poor quality photos today! I have several necklaces made and ready, but I'll have to do a picture retake tomorrow if the light is good. Thank you for sharing a little of the whole process with me...and a little of the old stuffed stuff I dream of!