Sunday, March 06, 2011

A Letter

Dear God,

The brief darkness inside of me has given way to light. It doesn't take long for the light to come....I spend a lot of time within myself, working things through....and praying.
You know that, right? I try not to bother you too much, because I know there are people with much bigger needs, but lately I've been talking to you quite a bit and you help me work things out in ways I know I should. The sadness and the anger gives way and I feel your presence as always. Sometimes it just takes a day or two. Thank you for listening to me.
By the way, I like for you to be a "him". I'm ok with that. I like the idea of a heavenly father, and I don't get hung up on whether you should be a man or a woman. I just find comfort in you....and joy in your creations....I revel in them, really..... How do the tulips know when to rise?  I do enjoy the questions....

Oh, and I was just talking to my husband today about a quote by Einstein

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

I think I'll still keep choosing the "everything" option.

Though there were still  patches of snow on the ground today, Jeremy and I went out to soak up the sunshine and do some sidewalk drawing...he chose to draw a rainbow...a sign of hope and promise.
Such sweetness and joy in his inside-out shirt and clunky snow boots...thank you for him. Thank you for all of my children. They have brought me such joy and they have truly been my greatest teachers.

I know that you know sometimes I loose my focus on what is good and what is deserving of thought and thanksgiving and what is deserving of just letting go. There are things I have simply just given up to you. So, I'll just let you handle the big stuff and the hard stuff and the tough questions that I can't answer, and the things that I just don't know what to do with anymore. Because you make life so much lighter. So much simpler. So much easier. So much softer. More joyful. More manageable.
More miracle.
I always come back to you.


  1. You summed up my own faith journey with your final words "I always come back to you" ... so true :) Thank you Jennifer for being so open and honest - it reminds me not be so insular with my own thoughts on the journey as well. Thankyou gorgeous xxx

  2. I sometimes feel you dont allow yourself to really face what you are feeling, or you feel a need to force on a happy face. Sometime life is just awful and we feel awful whether we think we have a 'right' to or not. That's OK, you know. God's not going to get mad at you. Nor is blogland.
    But that picture of your little one making a rainbow is the sweetest thing ever....

  3. Your letter lifted my heart -- you experience your faith and your God in the same way I do -- like having a conversation with a good friend who knows us better than we know ourselves.

    Beautifully written, heart felt words. ♥

  4. Simply put and simply beautiful my friend-sending love your way-

  5. Your words remind me of David in the Psalms who was called "a man after God's own heart". David wasn't afraid to put the hard questions to God or to full out give Him praise and dance in the streets!

    Although I may not know what tomorrow holds, I know Who holds tomorrow. :)

  6. Beautiful letter. I love the pic of your little boy. My son's favorite color is "rainbow". I suppose he just can't pick one! Sending love...:-)


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