Rosy Tomorrows, Sacred Cake and Grace

Yesterday  was most extraordinary...made up of moments that you simply have to write about. It was an I-cannot-stop-smiling kind of day. Like a strand of sparkling white Christmas lights; one moment just as bright as the next. One moment today, in particular, had such clarity. It was the kind of moment that makes a little lump in your throat with the gratitude of it all...little bits of serendipity....the amazing grace that God sends in the words, the face and the embrace of a stranger. The kind of moment in which you just know that God is at work in your life.

Those kinds occasions have always been my most favorite kind.

            I am incredibly blessed to have my work displayed in a beautiful shop in downtown Dowagiac, Michigan called “Rosy Tomorrows”. Isn’t that a great name?!

As I tied up some loose ends behind the counter, I overheard a customer in the shop exclaim how excited she was that Rosy Tomorrows had Sacred Cake jewelry…I listened for a minute as she talked about how much she loved Sacred Cake and how beautiful everything was. I told her that I was, in fact, “The Sacred Cake Lady”…and we ended up  meeting excitedly across the shop in a tight embrace…

After that sweet customer left with several pair of earrings that I had made, I said out loud to my friend Claudia (the shop owner), “Is this really my life?!” As the tears welled up in my eyes, and I was met with another embrace; this time from lovely Claudia, I could only think of the mystery and wonder of God’s grace. Just weeks ago I felt a bit (Okay, a lot) lost. Self-doubt became a constant tapping on my shoulder and I lost sight of the truest part of who I am and what I love. I worried about money. I worried about time. I worried about those tough decisions. I worried about the undone things…and the done things that pulled me down like a soaking wet quilt tied around my waist.

            Today in that brief sparkling instant, I was reminded that even though my work does not involve words, quotes or mantras, it still speaks. It brings joy and color and beauty to the wearer. When I teach, my students feel such accomplishment and joy (as do I). It is the work of my heart infused with love. It is about the most important thing in the world---other people. The truest part of me…of all of us…is the part that is priceless. The most important part of us is the imprint that we leave in the hearts and minds of others. We were created with love. We were made to love and we were made to shine to the best of our ability.

            I was reminded today that it is alright to feel lost; but to be open to the gentle unfolding of the hands of grace. I was reminded to remain present, release the worry and bring my awareness back to center. Because grace can show up when you least expect it.

            I am so humbled  by it all.

In my studio, a tiny bouquet from the yard.

Bringing the Outside In, and UP

     Ever since I can remember, I have loved the outdoors. As a girl, I spent hours playing in the woods, and swimming in Lake Santa Fe. As a teen, I would take long walks in the country to study wildflowers and animal tracks. It was there that I found my solace.

     Whenever I feel out of sorts and out of touch, a quick drive to the local woodland park is so incredibly restorative. Just fifteen minutes with the sound of the brook in my ears and surrounding trees can carry me a long time.

     Since most of my day is spent upstairs in my attic-shaped studio/bedroom, I like to be surrounded by the things that I love the most...favorite artwork, my beloved cat Lucy, good music, white linens, and as much plant life as possible!

     The upstairs room is quite large, but it is shaped in such a way that I have only one full sized window, so I have utilized every spare inch of it with favorite woodland inspired pottery, plants, and the overflow of my antique cigar box collection.

     My husband gave me gifts this past Christmas of a coveted double boxwood topiary and a sweet old shabby stepladder among other treasures…perfect additions to my ever crowding shabby pink plant table.

AH!More of what my heart desires; bringing the outside, in.

I added the ladder next to the old stool that holds a vintage watering can full of an unknown(to me) plant that blooms prolifically with beautiful purple flowers through fall and winter, then goes dormant in Spring and summer…odd, but true! It likes that window, and is accompanied by Baby’s Tears, fragrant English Lavender, delicate Rabbit’s Foot Fern and a Weeping Somethingorother. I have, by no means, a green thumb! There have been casualties over the years, but for the most part, I do fairly well for someone who doesn’t know much about plants!

I know what is manageable for me and I just keep it very simple.
I hope somehow this has inspired you, especially if you work from home and need a little lushness in your space.
If you cannot go out, just go UP!

Woodland Pottery by Leaves of Clay

Fashioned by Time, Assemblage Jewelry

For this assemblage necklace, I used a bit of antique netting and lace for the "chain" and ancient rhinestone bits along with a vintage buckle and a very old St. Dymphna medal.

St. Dymphna Free Me, assemblage necklace

For me, each old piece is a work of art in itself...fashioned by time and travel without my intervention. These timeless strays, once lost, now found and re-purposed into a little wearable work of art.  I think the missing rhinestones and verdigris gives them character and mystery. Perfection in imperfection.
--still my favorite pieces to create.

Holy Mystery, assemblage necklace

NEW Anna Wintour Collet Necklaces at Sacred Cake

This holiday season, it's all about the sparkle here at Sacred Cake! But wait, it is always about the sparkle over here isn't it? These new collet necklaces that I have created do not disappoint. My work is inspired by the antique collet necklace collection of Anna Wintour, and these new pieces are so yummy and so versatile.

NEW Topaz collet necklace, "Illumine"

"Northern Lights" collet necklace

Anna Wintour Style at a great price!

Shine on!

Find your special sparkle this season at Sacred Cake on Etsy!

In the Leaving

I haven't written in so long, but today I was prompted, perhaps by divine suggestion, to write. I found this poem in its raw form, handwritten on a rumpled piece of stationery on the floor as I was cleaning...with no idea where it came from or when I wrote it. A poem about a poem that I never wrote.

In the Leaving

“In the Leaving” was the title of a poem I once wrote,

Though I never finished it

Or even began it really.

I could never truly imagine life without you.

Perhaps it would be like an expanse of dark and time;

Like being wholly separated from God.

Separated from hope.

You are my savior of sorts

And “In the Leaving” fills me

With a silent knowing,

Yet it can still mystify me

Like the line of a song that I cannot remember,

But it is on the tip of my tongue.

Rising

And still.
I rise.
And
I rise
And I rise...

Sometimes when you begin to think that you have nothing, it really becomes everything you ever needed.

Shabby bridal comb

"Little Poetry Leaves" series by Sacred Cake

Wholesale Jennifer Valentine Jewelry (gone but not forgotten.)(I learned a lot)

pink line of Creative Co-op Jewelry (being discontinued)

 With the almost complete  phase out of my wholesale Jennifer Valentine Jewelry line with Creative Co-op, comes the inevitable feeling of total failure. And some tough lessons learned as well...but right now, the failure part and the "what if?" questions that invariably go through my mind.
I was told it was strictly a business decision and not to take it personally...that jewelry lines do not last very long...and i thought, well, no one told that to my idol, Miriam Haskell. Her jewelry line has outlived HER!
     The truth is, if I had it to do over again, there would have been much I would have done differently.  But I suppose that is where that cliché about  hindsight comes from. It is always easier to look back and see where things may have gone awry...but the truth is, that I know in my heart that I did my absolute best. It is really difficult for me because I thought that this "partnership" was going to be the thing that i stayed up all of those nights for, falling asleep with my pliers in my hands...
And that voice in my head that told me to keep going...surely the answer was Creative Co-op. That was the reason. My dreams had finally been realized.
It was all finally going to be ok.
Because the royalty checks were going to be the answer to the financial poverty that is all that I have known my whole adult life. (I say financial poverty, because I have never been impoverished of spirit or joy or gratitude!)
I am right back where I began, wondering what to do. Living below the national poverty line and struggling to make ends meet. Feeling like i have, once again,  failed myself and my children. I wanted my children to see that it was worth it. That hard work pays off. That the underdog can win...That all those nights i worked away at my little table were worth it.
I wanted to be their hero.
I'd be lying if I said that it didn't really sting when my boss asked for more products, only to later say that my line was being discontinued.
I'd be lying if i said i did not take it personally.
I'd be lying if i said i didn't still cry about that loss...and the loss of that identity...that feeling of "Look Ma, I finally managed to make something of myself!"
The truth is though, that i adore my work.
Giving it up, for me, would be like not breathing. 

I just cannot give up.
     I make pretty things that make women all over the world feel better...I create pretty things that become part of their life story.  I bring what one of my customers called "necessary beauty" to her life. That is what keeps me going, when I am doubtful.
I teach local women through the library system, how to make their very first pairs of earrings...i witness the look of joy and accomplishment on their faces.
That is worth more to me than all of the money in the world.
I have to believe that the end of Jennifer Valentine Jewelry with Creative Co-op does not mean that it is the end of the line for me. I have to believe that it is only the beginning of something greater and more significant. 

The Creative Co-op Catalog Jennifer Valentine section photo (the last)

I am so hoping to be noticed by boutiques interested in my handmade work, and I am working on a new collection in antiqued copper to come soon. I have also been working on my website, SacredCake.com, learning as I go!

It has proven to be difficult, as more people go mobile, I have to make the sight enhanced for Mobile viewing as well. WHEW. It has kinda been kicking my butt. I worked for several days just to get as far as I have, but it is becoming more of what I want it to be...to look more like "me". I am using the WIX.com plug in platform, for those of you interested. Be sure NOT to do what I did and build a website using flash.

SIGH.

Not the way to go for mobile formatting. 

Love and Light to you and yours,

Jennifer

My Beautiful Secret

I dreamed of you last night.
You were my beautiful secret, among the class
of delighted beginning painters,
disciples of your inspiration,
tribe of your tribe.
In secret I embraced you like a big sister would,
after a long journey home to you.
I called you shorty and I stroked your cheek.
It filled me, this dream.
Until I can see you again.
Beloved sister.
Beloved.

The Chopper from Nam

It is not just today that I remember you,
or your stories of getting on "the chopper" for a brief reprieve from the war to come see me right after my birth.
And there were times I wished you would have died there. That would have made a better story than a man who found the bottle more important than me.
There were times I wished you away, and hoped you would be replaced by the kind of father that I always dreamed of.
I got my wish, but then I lost him too.

I think of your stories of Nam. The ones you told me with tears in your eyes, and the ones you said you could never talk about...only then were you a man of few words, except how much you hated rice and what "dinky-dow" meant and how scared you were.

I remember laying my head in your lap. You smelled of grease and cigarettes and liquor. You told me I was daddy's little girl and that I'd always be just that. And I loved you in spite of yourself just the same.

When I think of you now, my heart aches. Because the unfinished business of you and I still keeps the wound a bit raw and open no matter how the years pass. Sometimes my heart aches for your voice and the roughness of your hands holding mine, and one more chance to fix things...but time does have a way of smoothing the creases. Finishing the raw edges and sewing together only the good stuff with the thread of forgiveness. 

I remember you proudly pulling the army green jacket you wore to war, out of the closet to show to me. 

I remember dancing with you to the beach boys.

I remember you keeping the christmas tree up until I got there that first summer.

I remember your rough and awkward embrace.

I remember your laughter.

I remember you.

Dad in his dress uniform, second from the left

Falling Up

Today, you and I, lay under the relished shade of the volunteer Mulberry tree.
Its berries, still tight and spring green. Nothing came between us but glinting slants of sun through the branches above, and for a very long while our world was silent, except for the soft chorus of our voices and far away birdsong.
Blue, blue sky and puffs of distant clouds were heralding the late afternoon heat to come, but we were cool together then, in the early hours of the May day.
The mortgage was not calling to us, the must do list wasn't mercilessly pounding like storm waves...the weight of things not pressing in.
Just you and I, for a beautiful while,
falling up together.

Dear Emerson

"Emerson, I am trying to live,  as you said we must, the examined life. But there are days I wish there was less in my head to examine. Not to speak of the busy heart."

Mary Oliver 

Today was one of those kind of days.
The one in which I found myself lost in thoughts of how far I could get from this particular life on the money in my bank account...
Which meant I was not going to get very far.
I caught the sky over an open field as I was driving and decided to pull over. I marveled at the beauty of the clouds and the way the rays of the sun made streaks, like light is depicted in ancient religious paintings.

 Emerson would have been proud... 

Anna Wintour Collet Necklace featured in a Stunning Bridal Shoot!

I was so thrilled to be invited by Kat Howes to have my beautiful Anna Wintour inspired navy blue collet necklace and french flourish earrings included in this amazing bridal shoot by Best Day Ever Studios. What a thrill it was to see my work professionally photographed and styled! Isn't the model beautiful? Everything was supremely gorgeous. I am one happy girl! Please see all of the links below for photography credits, veil credits, cake, venue, etc. Very talented people! And Please come by my shop, Sacred Cake, for this necklace and more in this seasons most popular colors.

collet necklace

collet necklace and french flourish earrings

Anna Wintour Necklace

Sacred Cake's navy blue french inspired bridal earrings

THANK YOU KAT! DESIGN & CREATIVE DIRECTION: Best Day Ever Studios

LOCATION: The Arbors Events
PHOTOGRAPHER: Peepsakes Studios
HAIR & MAKEUP: Simply Beautiful Artistry
FLOWERS: New Creations Flower Co
CAKE: Got What It Cakes
ACCESSORIES: Ritzy Rose
JEWELRY: Sacred Cake
HEADPIECE: Gilded Shadows

VINTAGE RENTALS: Mason Dixon Rentals
INVITATIONS & MODEL: Tessa Machen

EVENT RENTALS: Cooke Rentals

GOWN: Pixton Bridal
MARQUEE HEART: Darling Weddings

Don't for get to pin! Find me on Pinterest at SacredCake.

Find me on Facebook at JenniferValentineJewelry

You know, I'm on Instagram too?! Here.

Twitter? WHEW! I'm here!

Have fun exploring all of the amazing vendors responsible for the amazing bridal shoot. It takes teamwork right? SO TRUE. Working together makes great things happen.

Amazing cake by "Got What it Cakes" (click photo for link)

As Angels Must

     I've done it a thousand times...with each child. Jeremy (in the photo) is my fifth (and last ) child, and tonight I watch him sleep just as I did with my Jonathan, my Rebecca, my Emily, and my Christian.
I brailled the contours of their faces with my eyes, stopping for a moment to ever so lightly trace a little finger or the edge of an ear.
     As I watch, my mind overflows with thoughts of what their dreams are like, how much I want to protect them, who they will become...and of course, what they think of me and what moments they choose to remember and cherish long after I am gone from this world.
     I can only hope that my super silliness and singing and holding hands and twirling to the Bee Gees, favorite books read before bed from dog-earred pages, soft words of comfort in the stillness of nighttime and heart shaped birthday cakes and rolling down grassy hills...all of those things...I want them to remember always.
Never the impatient sighs, the old cliches, the exasperated tone or the words poorly chosen. Though I know they will.
I can only hope they choose the light and laughter and lots of the silly.
     I swear there is no sweeter sound in the world than a child's laughter...except perhaps the sound of their breath as they sleep. So beautifully as angels must; carried in sleep by the hands of God and the tangible tide of a mother's love.

DIY New Life for Old Plates, Millinery Flowers and Junk Jewelry

I wanted to share  a little project I love to do when I have some spare time away from making jewelry to create FUNctional assemblage pieces. I have collected shabby old vintage and antique plates for many years now. I wrote about it in 2012 for Stampington, along with a mirror plate project that was a bit more simple. I love this little plate mirror project because it incorporates many things that I love to collect~ mirrors, vintage jewelry, old plates and vintage millinery. I love the results I got with this recent project. I think the key is not to over think your design...just go with it! You can always go back and add or subtract as you see fit. When I first started this project, I did not tape the mirror in place on the plate and it slid to one side and cured that way. I decided to fill the bottom in with flowers and broken bits of vintage jewelry. This one has a shabby old vintage watch in the mix, as well as flowers and velvet leaves from old hats, vintage pins with missing rhinestones and backs, and bits of tatted lace.

Basic materials you need for this project:
broken jewelry parts (Ebay, Etsy)
old (or new) millinery flowers (Estate sales, Etsy, Thrift Stores)
round, beveled mirror that fits into the center of your plate (I got mine at Michael's)
old plate (check thrift stores, garage sales, estate sales)
E-6000 and/or hot glue gun (Michael's, Walmart, Etsy)
popsicle stick
blue painter's tape (hardware store, grocery store)

close up of assemblage mirror plate embellishment

large chipped vintage Wedgwood dinner plate, embellished with flowers and old jewelry

Spread the glue onto the back of the mirror with the popsicle stick and place on plate. Tape edges down with the painters tape until cured (about 8 hours).

Tape should peel right off, leaving no residue.
Use hot glue to adhere the millinery flowers to the plate. Since they are not weighty, they shouldn't come off easily.
Use the E-6000 to adhere the jewelry parts, using the painter's tape to keep pieces from sliding around if necessary. Let cure for 12 hours before hanging with a plate hanger.

 If this inspires you, Don't forget to pin this to your craft board on Pinterest! (and please credit me as well!)

If you would like to purchase these one of a kind pieces, visit my Etsy Shop.
www.SacredCake.Etsy.com

Slipping into Something More Comfortable

Ladies, let's face it. My waist 'aint what it used to be. So at about 40 years and five children later, my waist decided it wanted OUT. I'll be 45 in a couple months and I have not seen it since.
Did my waist line ever exist? I think it actually left the building. I am working on weight loss, but it has been a slow process. It has been about lifestyle changes, breaking old cake habits (new cake, old cake, birthday cake, coffee cake, anykinda cake) and trying to work in more exercise. I've lost two dress sizes this past year, but I'm not certain my waist will ever come back no matter how hard I look for it. One thing is certain, the good lord made clothes for us waist challenged ladies. I've taken to low slung jeans, with a wide cuff, a pair of cute comfy shoes and a sweater or a tank and a funky jacket for those hot flash kind of moments....I'm either freezing or boiling and nary the twain shall meet.
I wanted to share with you some easy to wear goodies I've discovered over at my favorite handmade marketplace, ETSY.
Whenever I complete a major milestone, or a big project I've worked hard on, I reward myself with something pretty. Recently, I bought two more beautiful hand dyed vintage slips from a favorite shop called MIREIO on Etsy. Wende is so kind, she keeps an eye out for slips in a larger size and lets me know when she's made them up. Not only are they hand dyed to perfection, she makes an amazingly beautiful flower pin that matches the slip color.
These are perfect for layering, wearing to bed, wearing under a favorite denim jacket...perfect for travel. I wear mine over leggings or jeans with a cute thrifted jacket. (I am ALL about thrifted finds.)

My Hand Dyed Vintage Slip Collection from Mireio

A Slip from Wende's beautiful Travel Pretty Collection

Another lovely shop I've found, and have loved for an eternity is Pamela Tang on Etsy. Her clothes are generous and forgiving with just a little fitting where it counts. After years of waiting, I finally purchased a lovely duck egg blue linen pinafore that I've long coveted.
It was a defining moment for me to finally "gift" myself with such a pretty piece. All the way from Australia...made just for me.

just for me

Photo from Pamela Tang on Etsy

Please come Follow me on Pinterest! http://www.pinterest.com/sacredcake

My Grace

Jessica Seivane said this to a friend of mine on Facebook when she needed encouragement today...Thank you Jessica. Though I don't know you at all, you softened my heart today. I truly needed to be reminded of this verse and wanted to share it.

Corinthians 12:9-10 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Amen.

That is why, with careful consideration, I chose to get this, my only tattoo awhile ago...done in my mother's handwriting (which is very precious to me), and placed on the inside of my left wrist...as a reminder of God's grace at work in my life.
Always there.

Loving the CHIN I'm In

I'll be 45 soon...and it shows.
My hair is noticeably thinner and I've just let it grow like long rye grass on top of my head. Sparse and whispy like cotton candy...and it's ok. They say your hair falls out two months after a stressful event...but I can't think of one that would be any more major than others...I think it is just age and genetics. I'm ok with that. I'll either cut it impossibly short and dye it blonde, or just wear a hat. I'm still thinking about my options.
I have "crows feet" around my eyes, wrinkles and lines that get longer by the year...but I celebrate it. I earned my stripes fair and square...from lots of laughter. If laughing so much in my life means I get wrinkles to prove it, then bring 'em on! Laugh lines! The best kind of line in my opinion.
But can we talk for a minute about my chin? My chin has always been an issue with me. I've been painfully aware of it, and have been since high school, though no one ever made mention of it...they only teased me relentlessly about my unusually long legs. Bet those women wish they had my legs NOW. (smiling to myself) Though I'm sure no one else goes home at night and says to their friend or spouse, "Did you SEE the CHIN on her?!" It isn't really that bad, but we know how we magnify, in our own self defeating way, our flaws both real and imagined. You do it too. I know you do. It's part of being human.
I had a dream the other night that my birth father came to see me and we just held each other for the longest time. He asked me what happened and I said to him that I was getting old, and that was the reason I didn't look the same as the last time he saw me. I told him I'd be 45 soon and that years have a way of sneaking up on us.
They have! Suddenly I need glasses! I carry "readers" in my purse for the times when my regular glasses won't do.
But I am embracing the changes. Almost in a curious, science experiment kind of way.
I go most days without any makeup, and once and awhile, I catch a glimpse of myself in the post office window while waiting in line and I think, damn, I look awful! These people probably think I'm really really sick!
I am, and always have been prone to dark circles under my eyes and now with  the extreme hair loss and pale crepe-y skin, people must wonder! (and that is ok too)
Though they might wonder, I see wonder. Instead of going into aging kicking and screaming and smearing creams and potions onto my face and neck and fretting about looking older, I marvel at the aging process. I almost laugh at it. What I love most is, the learning process that comes with it, and being o.k. with who I have become.
I would imagine for years how I would look with a suction/lift "chin job"...looking in the mirror with my hands holding my little second chin up to see how I'd look with no "pouch" there...
BUT Today I had a revelation.
My youngest son and I were up here in my little studio and I had on the most amazing, colorful,vintage rhinestone necklace that I just repaired. He noticed that the rhinestones were catching the sun and making rainbows. All around us were colored orbs on the walls and ceiling...moving as I moved, and reflecting upward on my chin.
I asked him to capture a photo of it.
He took this one, and this one~

This is me. Unfiltered. Unsoftened. Unmade-up. But NOT Unhappy. This is the real me and the chin that I have, until today, had such disdain for and have been self conscious of my whole life. Even at my thinnest(in high school), I still had this wierd little second chin!

My chin has seen so many good things...beautiful necklaces that I, and other amazing artists have created. Sunlight reflecting from the waters of Lake Santa Fe. It has been caressed by cool mountain air and wind from southern beaches. It has been touched by tiny baby hands. It has traveled with me through life and stretched out with yawns made from remnants of the most amazing, most awe-inspired days. And it has stretched with the weight of my body, pregnant with life. 

My chin has never been happier.

Do you have a particular part(s) that you can make peace with today? I'd love to hear about it! Please leave a comment.

Ten Thousand Saints

     As the snow keeps pouring from the sky...covering my part of the world in a lovely white, I fear that my patience with winter has grown weaker with each passing day! I am so ready for spring!
The house is quiet, which is rare these days, and I can concentrate a bit to write. Grand babies are asleep, and the big boys downstairs in the "man cave" eating subs and playing games. Around here is a little crazy as of late, since my youngest daughter is temporarily back home with her children. Life is very full with homeschooling our youngest, trying to keep our 18 year old son busy, my husband Ken teaching college, me working away and trying my best to stay well and energized, and our  daughter trying to find her way through school and parenting and life.
Life is very VERY full. 
     Recently, I was asked by an amazing man and very talented stylist, Christopher Fulton, to create some hair jewelry pieces for an upcoming movie he is working on. It was quite a challenge, which I truly love.The movie is set in the late 1980's, so I had to do some period pieces, which was great, (since I was very much there in the 80's and all) and I remember that time very well....(I'm smiling to myself)
One character is a high class woman, for which I made a selection of barrettes, combs, modern pony tail holders, hair bands (made from vintage modern necklaces), and clips~

80's style hair jewelry

The second character is a bohemian type artsy woman, quite the opposite of the first character. She has long, flowing hair and needed pieces in a boho-hippie style...hair sticks and simple pieces reflective of her character. For her I made hair sticks out of antique fan parts with authentic Art Nouveau pieces, combs and ties made from real Art Nouveau and Victorian Gothic buckles, and a leather barrette made from a very old tooled belt that I aged and sanded further to make it look as if she'd had it forever~

bohemian style hair jewelry

The movie is called Ten Thousand Saints.  I am so thrilled to be a small part of the whole huge process. Thanks to late night photo-texting and Chris' infinite patience and support, I was able to pull this off in a short time frame and come up with usable pieces for the shoot.
I think that is what I like most about creating the things I do...I get to be a part of something much bigger in the world...people that wear my work carry with them a bit of myself, my thoughts, and my deep love for my work and for humanity, into weddings, huge events, little victories, into work and now into a movie...how truly wonderFULL life can be.

me, circa 1988 (see? told you I was there!)

Lovely Ethereal Abstract Landscapes

I just wanted to share with you some of my favorite things lately. Comfort food for my spirit while the snow piles up outside! I want to begin with Tracey. My latest obsession, the ethereal, heavenly paintings of Tracey Nicholas on Etsy.
Her ethereal abstract landscapes surround me in my second story studio/bedroom...this attic room from which i write has one larger window and little oddly placed windows that make it difficult to see outside, and her paintings make a soft landing spot for my eyes during the hours I spend up here working. The last one I bought so moved me me with the title of it. It is called "All I Know"...a lovely mix of soft pink, white and even a touch of orange...
My studio/bedroom has become a haven for me...a place to dream, have tea with friends...a place to write and create. I am building a lovely nest in soft hues of pink and white and aqua blue. It is a bit untidy at the moment, but what real life is truly as tidy as a perfect photograph? That is what paintings like Tracey's are for...

Frosted Window "Pains"

View from Studio Window This Morning

     This year I am focusing on letting go. Mostly letting go of people that I love deeply...ideas of what relationships should be...and what they should not. Trusting in the process and that everything is as it should be is unsettling for me, when some relationships feel so unfinished...like the end of a record, static in my ears, and I cannot lift the arm to start the music and dancing again.

     Here, in the depth of winter, I go within.  I know that the process is not about them, but about my ideas and expectations of what love should be. It is about letting go of my firm grasp of faux control and allowing love to heal. It begins with loving myself more. It begins with believing that I am enough. It begins with forgiving myself...because no one is better than me at demolishing my self worth...

I'm the best self ass-kicker there ever was. Even at nearly 45 years old, I still flagillate myself for things I did 20 years ago that I know need to be put to rest. I am not the same woman I was at 20 or 30 or even 6 months ago. I have the gift of introspection...I am ever evolving. 
     Forgiving myself is much harder for me than forgiving others. Letting go is hard...and I wonder why it comes so easy for others. Trust is hard, but I cannot profess that God has a plan and then question it.
I want you to know that you are not alone in your struggle. I am here too. Peeling my own white knuckled fingers off of the edge of certainty. Falling is never easy. But you are not alone in it.
Let's trust. Let's let go together, shall we?
One.....two...........three!

New Vintage Jewel Collets Inspired by my Abiding Love of Impressionist Paintings

A new collection will make its Debut next Saturday. Romantic bridal (and beyond) jewelry inspired by impressionistic paintings, past and present, also stemming from my love of the collet neckalces.

deep navy blue vintage rhinestones, pale sapphire navettes
 and tiny swarovski crystal dangles...Delicate.

"The Railroad" by Manet

vintage jewel collet necklace, rare vintage rhinestones

Japanese Footbridge, by Monet

Please visit me at www.sacredcake.etsy.com next weekend for the collection debut!