Unconditonal Love and the Dead Bee Heart

I raised my voice at my 6 year old yesterday. It happens rarely and he is very sensitive....so he writes me a note. I have only gotten two notes so far...so I guess I'm doing ok. I was having a particularly difficult morning and in my frustration to try and get him motivated to get ready for school, I told him he needed to get dressed, NOW. As I went about getting myself together for the day, this note appeared on my dresser, quite matter of factly. Delivered by a frowning and resolute little boy.   

Needless to say, it immediately lifted any frustration or crabbiness from my mind and replaced it with laughter and gratitude. It has been said that our children are our greatest teachers. I believe it.

His frustrated scribbles inside a cut out heart shape said it all. I think it is about unconditional love....like the love we have for our children...like the love that God has for us. No matter how much we "mess up". No matter how many mistakes we make or how often we stray, God will always accept us back into the fold of his heart, dead bees and all.

New One of a Kind Jewelry and a Coupon Code Just for You

I've been trying out some new ways to photograph my work...and I really like it. it seems to be more me. To celebrate the new "look", I'm offering a discount code for 15% off all items: MAYFLOWERS
Just click the images to be taken to the shop to see what else is new!
Blessings and Light,
Jennifer

Gifts of Love

I just want to share with you some unexpected joy I've received, just because. Sometimes I feel so unworthy of such gifts...but when I'm feeling like I've been feeling lately, I'm so grateful for their presence here around me.
Last night I wrote these words: "I don't have the strength to fight for me today. I just want to sink into this bed and these soft feathers and old quilts into oblivion....simply fade away like dusk...leaving a trail of stars. I'm really not afraid to die. I think I'm afraid of what I'll miss...will I be looking down on my children from heaven or visiting in their dreams, like my father does to me...?
the constant daily pain and creeping numbness have just become something I've learned to live with, but this disease scares me. Why this slow decay? Why now the fumbling hands as I try to create? Why, after 40 years of living, have I finally found my creative joy, only to have it taken from me bit by bit?"

This morning, I awoke feeling a little better. The cats are all out playing in the yard...it is overcast and cool. My dear husband is outside transplanting clumps of violets and wildflowers and daffodils from the back edge of the yard to the front, around our statue of Mary and around the side of our home...It's quiet except for the red winged blackbirds and sparrows tweeting in the trees next door... I hear his shovel turning soil and the hose spraying and the soft sound of curtains breathing in and out with the gentle morning breeze. Life is so incredibly good sometimes I am moved to grateful tears. And then I feel rotten about complaining about anything. I know there are people out there that have it so much worse than I can ever imagine...but it doesn't change my story or my struggle for some semblance of a "normal" life.

Jenny Lee Wentworth sent me this painting recently! It was a complete surprise! and such a delight...I cherish it....and the incredible thoughtfulness and selflessness that went into her work. She even used real egg shells at the bottom and lace from one of her favorite worn out shirts along the bottom. I love the colors and the softness and the words....her blog is a gentle space where she shares her journey into painting and into life itself...wide open to possibility and hope. You can find it here.

My dear friend Carissa Paige is another dear soul who sends me the sweetest things...this just came for my birthday this year and I'm filling it with favorite letters and things.

top of the box

bottom of the box

How sweet is that? It is a big wooden cigar box, painted and screen printed with one of my favorite girls...Carissa Paige is another gentle and dear spirit that I am so grateful for...her etsy shop is exploding with pastel color and movement! You can see it right here.

sweetness from Carissa

Last for today, but definitely not least, sweet Corinne from September House sent me this amazing unexpected gift! I love love love her sweet necklaces..I had ordered a custom necklace with queen anne's lace after I wrote this post...something about the hand embroideredness of them...and the simplicity in design and sweetness that I love. I lost that necklace somewhere along the way and ordered another recently. It came as a gift instead, from Corinne...I cherish it!

I just wanted to share a bit of life with you today...and some things that make me smile. I hope you have (or had) an amazing day today!
xoxox
Jennifer

Checking In to Say Hello!

I couldn't stay away for too long. Been busy creating custom vintage assemblage jewelry orders! I wanted to share with you some haircombs I created for a sweet person in the United Kingdom. I had to take the photos with my ipod because my camera died...so the picture quality is terrible...but you get the idea anyway. She wanted vintage elements in gold leaves with diamonds and pearls...

I hope you are all doing well....I'm working on some small changes to the etsy shop...making new pretty little keepsake boxes to send the jewelry in, made with vintage wallpaper cut outs. I'll show them as soon as I get my new cheapy camera from walmart! They're pretty cute! Also, new earring cards...oh, and I'm making lots of new earrings and such. Come back soon, ok?
Love,
me

Beautiful Vintage Assemblage Jewelry and Things, for Just a Song...Oh, and Some Change

I'm taking a little break from blogging...my life is a little troubled, and I guess I don't really want to talk much these days..I just want to work...making my vintage assemblage jewelry is my solace...my escape into shiny and bright and Springtime....it takes me elsewhere.
Sometimes my mind wanders to French markets among the bustle of tourists and the Eiffel tower in sight...sometimes it takes me to Puget Sound, with the light scent of the water in my nostrils and the moist green of the ferns and mossy forests from where I traveled so far to get here....to this small town in Michigan. I have become accustomed to this place and all of its hope and  its hopelessnesses.
Always, though, I think of you...and the things I create for you to wear...for you to feel pretty and loved and sparkly as you go about your days. I am speaking to women tonight because I think I only have one or two male readers.
Each piece I create tells a story. A story of  the history and the resurrection of what was once lost to time...but also, know this;
each piece tells the story of hope and of love for you. Hope and love for myself and for each and every woman and girl who struggles with self worth, with letting go, with the negative voices. For you who struggle with mistakes and regrets and wavering faith...like I am this moment.
I have made, and remade my life over so many times....and now I feel the pull to begin again. To recreate myself. My life. My work....(and once again, organize my work space!)

In any case, I am having quite a sale over at the shop. I have marked most things down as low as I can make them go. It will be closed for about a week or two in May, while I gather myself, find my center again, and make new things...take photos...write stories....make plans. Some of the things you see will not return again...but I will!

Blessings to You and Yours,
Jennifer Valentine

Loving Spring and a Coupon Code (just for you)

I've been keeping busy, with spring on my mind...

one of a kind flower arranging...

I'm just so happy that spring has arrived...though it has been raining and raining...I'm off to enjoy the rest of the day! But I wanted to leave you with a secret code for 15% off my already lowered prices in the etsy shop.
Just use the code EASTER2011 at checkout. I'll even throw in free shipping (refunded after the sale) just because you are here! Don't worry, you can use your secret code until next weekend. I just got some amazing vintage finds from my lovely source in France. (I have already used some of the gorgeous pink glass in the earrings above).
I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter Weekend!

Love,
Jennifer

Where Does the Time Go?

I celebrated my 42nd birthday on the 13th....with a new funky hair-do/highlight thing...I've been wanting a change...and well, I got one. And afterward I felt guilty for being so vain that I'd spend money on highlights....the usual internal tug of war when I spend money on myself. I'm still not used to seeing the new hair...I was a blond until age 4 1/2. Does that count? but do I think I like it. I used a photo app I have on my ipod for my 42nd birthday picture because it is sooooo much kinder to my face! I'm seeing wrinkles pop up in weird places, like under my chin...what's with that?!

We are welcoming spring here in Michigan. It is bursting out everywhere. My favorite part is the tiny clumps of violets that appear everywhere in the yard

and then the daffodils arrive on the very back edge of the yard in big clumps.

I recently watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love...I read the book years ago and just loved it, so I was pretty excited about the movie too. In the movie she talks about the Art of Doing Nothing. I thought about that. I asked myself, if there is ever a time, aside from sleeping, that I am ever just doing nothing? The answer was a resounding "NO."
So I went out into the yard one day this week and did that very thing. I took a photo of it for my journal...this whole notion of nothing doing was different for me, the multitasker-alwayshavingstufftodo-er.

There is a lot to be said for this whole doing nothing concept. I like it. I think I want to do more of it. I did nothing for a full 30 minutes or more....well, I did pet my cats...but I felt the breeze on my skin...the sun on my eyelids...I lay down and breathed in the scent of moist dirt and grass. I began to feel closer to myself...closer to the earth...closer to God. Just those few moments refreshed my spirit and reminded me of what I love best in life: being present in the outside world.
Do you ever practice the Art of Doing Nothing? If you do, where is your doing nothing place? What is your most favorite part of the season you are in?
Thank you for being here today. I'll be back soon with more news and such!
xoxox
Jennifer

Love, a most favorite poem by a most favorite poet, Billy Collins (and some portraits of Saints)

The boy at the far end of the train car
kept looking behind him
as if he were afraid or expecting someone

St. Teresa

and then she appeared in the glass door
of the forward car and he rose
and opened the door and let her in

and she entered the car carrying
a large black case
in the unmistakable shape of a cello.

She looked like an angel with a high forehead
and somber eyes and her hair
was tied up behind her neck with a black bow.

And because of all that,
he seemed a little awkward
in his happiness to see her,

whereas she was simply there,
perfectly existing as a creature
with a soft face who played the cello.

And the reason I am writing this
on the back of a manila envelope
now that they have left the train together

is to tell you that when she turned
to lift the large, delicate cello
onto the overhead rack,

I saw him looking up at her
and what she was doing
the way the eyes of saints are painted

when they are looking up at God
when he is doing something remarkable,
something that identifies him as God.

St. Catherine by Raphael

St. Agatha by Niccolo de Simone

Reaching Out Together with the Red Cross

I bought quite a few vintage gems recently...and I've been waiting for their arrival so that I could do a fundraiser for the Red Cross. I know with so many crises going on, great organizations like the Red Cross are strained. I want to do something manageable and something simple. And the reason I waited until now is because so often, we tend to jump in to help in a crisis situation right at the very beginning, but then life gets in the way and our focus is redirected elsewhere. It isn't our fault, really. Life just happens. We get caught up in our own worlds.
When my step father died more than 25 years ago, people came from all around to help....and in the Deep South, what people did to help was bring food. LOTS of food. I was 14, and deeply grief stricken...and all I could remember seeing the next week or so after his death was literally every surface of our home covered with bowls of salads, casseroles, cakes, pies, bread, meat, sandwich fixin's....and I think food was the last thing on our minds. We had to eat though, each visitor would say.  Cooking wasn't really on the agenda either, so the food was really nice to have and bless all of the sweet sweet folks for bringing it. Truly. That is just what a good Southern neighbor did...and we had a lot of them. But what about later? When all the old food had to be tossed and the funeral was over and the flowers and cards stopped arriving and everyone went back to their everyday lives....and we were still floundering around inside of grief and uncertainty and heartache?
Then would have been the time for someone to come around and offer food, or to cook or wash clothes or help in some way. And actually, a few folks really did. And it was a comfort, but time went on...
Those of us who have suffered deep, deep loss completely understand why I waited to do a fundraiser now. A month after the earthquake in Japan. I don't expect to make a whole ton of money, but whatever money we give now is right where it is needed the most. Well, that's just the way I see it I guess.

So, for the next month or so, I am offering all of the proceeds from the sale of these earrings in my Etsy shop to be allotted to the Red Cross. You get something beautiful to give as a gift, or keep for yourself, and we both feel like we've helped in some way...even the smallest way helps. It really does.
 If you aren't a fan of the color in the listing photo, I have other options. Just leave your choice of the following colors in the message to seller at checkout on etsy. If you don't see the listing, just wait a moment for me to renew it. The price is right for these beauties and I'm hoping you will spread the word! They will each come sweetly wrapped. I will also ship to another address if you'd like that.

the colors available right now are:
Siam red
Smokey topaz (lovely brown color)
Plum
Light Pink
Aquamarine
Peridot
Light Amethyst
Montana Sapphire

montana sapphire

If you don't really want the earrings and you'd just prefer to donate,  click here to be taken to the Red Cross donation site.
Thank you for your help!
Blessings to You and Yours,
Jennifer

Winners of the Giveaway!

being silly with my oldest Daughter a minute ago

It's Friday morning....well, it was.....after an emergency vet visit for Cutie, whose Christmas antics post seemed to make lots of you smile! He's ok. Just a fever and a cold. Whew! He scared me there for a minute...or two.
SO, I'm back after throwing on clothes and no makeup and a hair-don't and rushing to the local vet to give you the winners of the Giveaway! (and winners, be sure to get in touch with me!)

Mia, you are a winner of the earrings!
Karen, you are an earring winner also!
"I aim for Grace", you are a winner of the feather hairpins!
"Teal Water", you are also a winner of the gold plated feather hairpins!
and the last drawing was for the magazine and, Terri Ann, you are the winner of a copy of the Jewelry Affaire magazine!....I feel weird asking if you want me to sign it....I mean, just in case I get super famous or something...you know....(laughing)
I hope everyone has a great day! Remember it's April Fool's day!
I've already been fooled once. I'm soooooo gullible.
So LOOK OUT. And now I have to research why all the vintage April Fools' cards involve someone holding a fish.....I think maybe because "Fool" in French means "Fish"? So it's just the French cards...

Thank you CHICKS57 on Flickr for the amazing antique postcard images.

What Makes Your Heart Flutter?

     My little article in Jewelry Affaire magazine is published and the magazine will be available on newsstands or to order online through Stampington on April 1st! I got my issue already and I am completely humbled to be included in this amazing and gorgeous magazine with so many talented artists...I don't quite feel like I should be there, you know? I have to remind myself though, that just because my work is fairly simple, it doesn't mean it isn't worthy of being seen.
I need to remind myself, and you today, that comparing ourselves to others that seem to be more than we are; more talented, more beautiful, more significant, more worthy, is a "sure fire" way to become quite unhappy.
There are days I look at my work and shake my head...and the voices rattle around in there saying things like, "who do you think YOU are?" "Anyone can do what you do." "You're wasting your time. This will never amount to anything." "You'll never be as successful as Nina or Stephanie or Kelly Rae or, or, or..." I literally have to tell them out loud to JUST SHUT UP! And I keep on creating.  I think we all probably have those nagging negative voices, don't we?
So don't let those voices take over! Sometimes, it is really hard isn't it? Have faith in yourself. I have faith in you!

So when I saw this come in the mail today:

and the voices in my head said, "well, you have no business in a great magazine like this." I took a deep breath and firmly told that voice. "I am worthy. I do have something to offer this world. My work is beautiful in its own way...a way that is my own beautiful way."
 I don't feel like my work is really "mine" though. I feel very much like it is a gift... and I truly believe that each of us has a special gift, unique to us, if we take the time to explore ourselves and find it.
What makes you loose track of time? What leaves you breathless? What makes your heart flutter? What brings you true delight when you do it? The answers to those questions will be your first clue. Unfortunately, the first answer that comes to mind for me, is eating chocolate cake....so you might have to move down your list just a little and that's ok....
I urge you to take a few moments today just to explore YOU.

My sister, Kelly Rae Roberts, has new prints that ask questions like these and more. This one is one of my favorites and it can be found here, with so many other new prints that she has added to her online shop!

Next Friday, I am giving away a free copy of the new Jewelry Affaire magazine (which is packed full of tutorials, beautiful jewelry and stories) trust me, it is a beautiful publication! I'm also giving away two pair of my best selling vintage jewel earrings,

lots of pretty vintage colors to choose from!

and also two pair of feather hairpins.....I am so amazed at how many ladies love these!

All you have to do is leave a comment to be entered. No hoops to jump through or anything....You can even leave an anonymous comment with your name (first name and first letter of last name please!) if you'd like. I'll announce the all of the winners next Friday, April 1st, so I'm really hoping for lots of entries! But please enter only once. There will be 5 chances to win something!
I just love doing giveaways and I appreciate you all so much. Thanks for being here today!
I'd also really love to thank Beth Livesay of Stampington & Co. for believing in me and my work....such gratitude I have for you Beth!

It's All Secretly Perfect

I've been away...in many ways I've been away, trying to recover from yet another illness...and trying to recover from some things in my life that have left me speechless. I simply can't form the words...and it just isn't something I can share here.
Life has become, for me, a stark contrast of light and of dark.... there is such amazing light, because I choose to live there in that space. But the dark lurks behind the corners of my eyes and brings tears of frustration and grief that I fight to tame....and more questions come as I cling to my core belief that it is, in fact, all secretly perfect.
So, here today, I just want to share some light....and a little peek into my home...a place that has become more and more a haven of rest and joy. Where the scent of Hyacinths, brought to me by my sweet K.W.,  just today, wafts through the air and light comes through the antique dresses and lace hanging in the windows.

I wanted to share a little bit of a before and after with you today.
K.W. surprised me recently with this antique (and very wonderfully shabby) cabinet we spied during one of our favorite pastimes: JUNKING. The price was so right that it was irresistible!
Here is the before:


Our youngest explores the new arrival...



Pooka and Alice explore the new arrival...

...and then I filled it with my personal treasures...I left all of the old, torn antique layers of wallpaper in tact....almost all of my treasures were found on our excursions to local antique shops. Sometimes I can even get my older kids in on the junking scene...it is always fun to hear their exclamations of surprise when they find something they think is "so cool!"

 a chamber pot from the late 1800's, bird s&p shakers
and parts of my "old bird stuff" collection



my most favorite treasures are the really stained
and chipped and uber neglected ones.
my prize is the old pitcher on the top shelf without its handle. 



blue willow vintage child's plate and crystal is one of many
very shabby Christmas ornaments I made this year
that I couldn't bear to put away!

 I've begun writing in favorite journal again today. I never seem to find time to write unless I am writing here. My journal is by one of my favorite artists Sabrina Ward Harrison.
This is the journal I chose because it spoke so loudly to me recently. (and I love the happy colors) On the cover is says "It's All Secretly Perfect"...and I need that reminder sometimes. You can see it or purchase it (or one like it) by clicking on the journal. It is on sale now for 11.00 at Papaya, one of my favorite sites. Quite a bargain! It is reversible, opens up flat, and has nice thick pages for painting and gluing and such.

So now, at almost 9 p.m., I close the curtains against the night as I type in front of this huge picture window on the world. I have some work to do...earrings to make and orders to wrap in pretty blue boxes....
Here is a sneak peek of what's coming to the shop tomorrow...



more wedding jewelry from vintage elements, I love
the super shabby elements of the hair comb...

See you all again soon...thank you for being here and reading these words...sharing your life and your time with me means so much. Love and Light to you all.

A Letter

Dear God,

The brief darkness inside of me has given way to light. It doesn't take long for the light to come....I spend a lot of time within myself, working things through....and praying.
You know that, right? I try not to bother you too much, because I know there are people with much bigger needs, but lately I've been talking to you quite a bit and you help me work things out in ways I know I should. The sadness and the anger gives way and I feel your presence as always. Sometimes it just takes a day or two. Thank you for listening to me.
By the way, I like for you to be a "him". I'm ok with that. I like the idea of a heavenly father, and I don't get hung up on whether you should be a man or a woman. I just find comfort in you....and joy in your creations....I revel in them, really..... How do the tulips know when to rise?  I do enjoy the questions....

Oh, and I was just talking to my husband today about a quote by Einstein



“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

I think I'll still keep choosing the "everything" option.

Though there were still  patches of snow on the ground today, Jeremy and I went out to soak up the sunshine and do some sidewalk drawing...he chose to draw a rainbow...a sign of hope and promise.

Such sweetness and joy in his inside-out shirt and clunky snow boots...thank you for him. Thank you for all of my children. They have brought me such joy and they have truly been my greatest teachers.

I know that you know sometimes I loose my focus on what is good and what is deserving of thought and thanksgiving and what is deserving of just letting go. There are things I have simply just given up to you. So, I'll just let you handle the big stuff and the hard stuff and the tough questions that I can't answer, and the things that I just don't know what to do with anymore. Because you make life so much lighter. So much simpler. So much easier. So much softer. More joyful. More manageable.

More miracle.

I always come back to you.

I Am Brave

I received my locket weeks ago. It was perfect. The colors of the beautiful blue Czech glass beads... the perfect font of tiny letters lovingly hammered into into it that claimed, "I am brave." After much deciding about which locket spoke to me, I felt so strongly that I needed it, and I so adore Liz Elaine's work.

But I gave my locket away two days after I received it to someone I felt needed it much more. I gave it to my youngest daughter when she decided at 17, to go out on her own...and now, now I feel the desperate need for another locket. I need that reminder again that I too, am brave. I need the locket with the words lovingly pounded into it with Liz's loving hands....with her intentions of peace for the wearer.

There is such a duality to my life. The joy I feel about my hearts work and my marriage and the myriad of blessings so present in my life...and the joys that being a parent of five children (four of which still live at home) brings to me. The laughter, the silliness, the noise, the love, the dancing....
but lately I feel like I'm crumbling. Crumbling under the pressure of physical pain once again limiting my life and the way I want to live it; but mostly, I'm crumbling under the pressures of being a mother to three older teenagers and a little guy who just turned six.
I feel like life keeps throwing such tough things at me...I get cynical and think maybe to see how much I can take before I break. I have been reduced to my knees in prayer...prayer in thanksgiving, but also so often in tears. I feel I am at war with myself in many ways.
I ask the questions of myself that some parents might ask..."Have I done enough?" "Was I supportive enough?" "Did I make too many mistakes?" "Is it my fault my child has gone astray?" "What should I have done differently?" "Should I have been more strict?....less strict?....more expectations?....should I have made more money?...less of this...more of that..."
 I have truly learned to love a lot of the questions about life...about God....about spirituality....but I am not loving the questions I've been asking of myself.
I know in my heart that I've done my very best for E. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do...witnessing the destruction and chaos and tears. And I am not unaware of how hard it must be for her to tell me things that disappoint and sadden me. I have had to tell my own mother things that I knew would brake her heart, and make her question her own parenting.

I encourage you to write about your struggles here. Or even send me an anonymous letter...or leave an anonymous comment if you'd like. Talk to me about your heartache, your joy, your moments of clarity.
Because this blog is so public, I cannot reveal the specifics of the experiences I am having as a parent in this moment that are causing me such heartache....I am not anonymous! but I am ever hopeful....ever hopeful still.

I think instead of the "Brave" locket, I'll choose this one:

Yes, I need this reminder...I need this one now.

Dearest Liz, I thank you ...for your healing works of love from the Little Room... for your words....for your gentleness through the many years I have followed you....for your amazing new BOOK,which I adore......thank you for you.
My daughter, E. is back home now. She is wearing her "I am brave" necklace. and She needs it now more than ever.

Birds and Blossoms on my Brain, vintage assemblage jewelry

ice drops on the big tree out front
taken just this past week

It has been such a looooooonnnnnnnggggggg winter. There is still snow on the ground here in Michigan and I hear birds singing (FINALLY) outside, which means that spring is coming. It is a welcome relief from the subzero windchill that has been happening lately. I haven't been outside much this winter...I'm happy to watch it from the warmth of our home, which I am so grateful for.
I've been thinking about spring and weddings and flowers and little girls and buttons lately among other things. It helps to keep my mind off of my defective body parts and yesterdays visit to the ER (instead of going to church as planned) at the insistence of my dear husband, who was concerned for me. I'm having back trouble again...the kind that makes me afraid to move. It has been awhile since this ol' spine of mine has misbehaved so badly....and I had forgotten all about it really, until yesterday. I'm thinking it must be the change in weather...but I am recovering.
Anyway, I've been working on some new things here and there. I so adore these antiqued brass birds I've acquired and I want to put them on everything! (though so far I have resisted.)
I am so excited to be working on another order for Declaration Boutique this week. It is an amazing shop in St. Augustine, Florida that carries my vintage assemblage hair combs and earrings. I am so grateful to Heidi for her trust and confidence in my work.

Flight of Fancy Necklace

gold plated feather hairpins



antiqued brass bird hairpin
 with antique mirrored glass cabochon


Stay tuned for another giveaway, OK? (I love doing those!) I'll be back again sooner this time, than later.
THANK YOU for being here, and for taking the time to read my words and such. It means so much to me. it really does.