Monday, July 26, 2010

Gratitude on "One of Those Days"

Today is one of those days. One that I need to focus more intently on what I refer to as my "Mental Gratitude List". I have days like this. I do. Days when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. OK, a lot overwhelmed. A little of feeling sorry for myself mixed with feeling like I'm not doing enough. Not being enough. Not a good enough parent, mother, sister, writer, maker, wife, friend....insert various roles. Feeling undeserving of the incredible and lovely words I read from those who take the time to write and to comment. Days where the sweetness doesn't come easily and I have to keep readjusting my focus. Bringing back my awareness to the now.
I have become acutely aware of the preciousness of time. Maybe because it seems to evade me somehow. Like sand through my fingers. It always seems to me that there is not enough of it. (Though there is always enough sand.) There are days that I am angry at my body because I hurt, or am exhausted for no apparent reason and I don't want to sleep. I feel that if I sleep, I'm giving up. I'm missing out. I'm not enough. And I feel like my body has betrayed me.
But I didn't come here to whine or elicit sympathy. I really didn't. I came to share with you some of the things that are on my mind; but most of all, some things that are on "the list" today.
Waking up in the middle of the night with Alice, one of our kittens, curled up next to me. Here she is, asleep in the sun.

The remnants of sunsets that I can see from the back steps of our home. Black outlines of the trees against the open sky. Sometimes the entire sky is pink...and on a moonless night, laying in the back yard beneath the sky with the children and laughing under the stars.

The scent of a freshly cut lemon.

The sound of my children laughing.

and always, him.......
What's on your list today?                   


  1. Thankful for my boys on a warm summer night and a lake near my house, for re-connecting with an old friend, for my dog learning how to swim and be a puppy the list is long. ...this morning it was not! Thank you for your post and reminding me what to do when a blah, sad, or bitter feeling tries to take me!

  2. Thankful for cool days with no humidity, my two beautiful children, being financially secure. Still looking for the stopper to the bottle to keep back the sand...

  3. Anonymous27 July, 2010

    I am so thankful those moments-they are fleeting-when I see something that moves me. It could be in my garden, or catching the profile of my husband-little things that stop time just for a second-they help put the rest in perspective for me.

    BTW-you are ENOUGH! The fullness of you-your generosity-your creativity-the love you show your family-you, simply you, are enough! Your words are beautiful and they reflect you-I may only see your reflection in Sacred Cake but that means there must be some one really wonderful making that reflection!

  4. Anonymous27 July, 2010

    should read "for those moments". I got too caught up in the moment to get my grammar right!

  5. Thankful for today and the opportunity to live it to its fullest. (my evening prayer preamble) So blessed and thankful for my two children, Mark and Reagan; thankful for my family, Mom, brother and four sisters. Thankful for my friends and what they teach me. Most of all I am thankful for my daddy and the years I had with him and all of the beautiful lessons he shared.
    Love your post and the reminder that no matter how hard some moments make it..Life is for the Living.


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